Practice Makes Perfect
by Nuki Mouse
Summary: This is a stand-alone story about Ranma and Akane’s "first time", [wink-wink :-) ] told in a most tasteful manner.
1. Practice Makes Perfect

This is a Ranma ½ fanfiction, written solely for the fun of it.  I do not own any of the characters; I just borrowed them from Takahashi Rumiko.  

This is a stand-alone story about Ranma and Akane's first time, told in a most tasteful manner.  

   Enclose the _thoughts of the character, and all the spelling errors in Ranma's dialog is intentional, showing his uncouth language skills.                    _

                                   Practice Makes Perfect   
                                                   By Nuki Mouse.

"Are they gone yet?" came a conspiratorial whisper from down the second floor hallway.  

"I think so..." was the quiet answer from the stealthy form creeping down the stairs.

"Are you sure?"

"Let's see...; Pop and your dad are out on their weekly drinkin' binge, Kasumi's spendin' the evening at the library, Biki's shakin' down Kuno..." his voice broke off at the sound of an angry hiss.  "Excuse me..._ Nabiki is on a date with _Tatewaki_. Kodachi's gotta meet in Osaka.  It's a Friday, so Shampoo and Ukyou will be too busy workin' tonight…" The pig's not here, he silently added.  "Yep, we're all alone for at least the next three hours." _

"Good, give me 15 minutes and I'll meet you in the Dojo."   
  


Akane quickly ducked into the bath and immediately began to freshen herself up, I want to be absolutely perfect for Ranma!  After insuring her breath was baby sweet and her body immaculately clean, Akane checked her make up and decided to apply a fresh coat of lipstick and a touch more rouge. She then dabbed some of the expensive perfume she 'borrowed' from Nabiki behind each ear and on several other... strategic locations..., before slipping on the special surprise she bought just for tonight's private practice session.

He won't dare call me un-sexy in this! Akane thought as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. The sheer silk garment was a translucent light blue in color with a plunging neckline and it fitted tightly in all the right places. From the waist down, it had slits along each thigh, guaranteed to show off her legs to the max. I hope I don't give Ranma a terminal nosebleed! she giggled.   
  


Down in the Dojo, Ranma quickly disabled the one and only secret camera and microphone hidden inside.  It's a good thing that Biki is too devious for her own damn good, she'd never think we'd do somethin like this down 'ere or I'd never find all the bugs! 

Of course, Akane wanted to use her own bedroom for this, but after Ranma found the third set of hidden bugs up there, (in less than 5 minutes!) she decided that a clandestine rendezvous in the Dojo might be better. And after seeing the angry gleam in Akane's eyes and watching her hands clenching around an imaginary throat, Ranma decided he might feel sorry for Biki the next time Akane met up with her, but… hey, it's _Nabiki after all…!_

Ranma glanced out the open doorway, checking to make sure his un-cute fiancée was still inside the house.  I guess I gotta get all fancied up for her, Ranma thought as he gave his mouth a shot of breath spray and sniffed both pits, looking for any undue body odor. Grabbing a damp towel he brought with him, Ranma wiped away any dirt or grime on his face, then slathered on a goodly amount of Mr. Tendo's aftershave he swiped from the medicine cabinet. 

Next, Ranma checked over his choice of attire, black pants and a red shirt (no surprise there!), but for once a brand new outfit, not one of his normally stained or heavily mended sets.  Satisfied, Ranma then made sure everything else was ready for tonight's activities.

OK, I put away all the training gear, I swept the floor, got some refreshments... he mentally checked off each item. The CD's set up and I got just the right music... as he place the disk he got from Hiroshi in the player and adjusted the volume. 

He felt a wisp of a breeze and it carried a faint fragrance of jasmine with it. She's here! Ranma realizes as he spun around to face her. 

"Oh-h… w-wow…" was all Ranma could stammer out as his eyes took in the vision of beauty standing before him. His heart raced and he felt suddenly lightheaded and warm all over as a ridiculously broad grin broke out on his face. Ranma's mouth gaped open then closed several times as he tried to speak but no discernable words came forth.

Akane smiled as she blushed a rosy red at the sight. Oh my, he looks like Toufu-sensei when oneechan visits him! She slowly walked over to him and with a twinkle in her eyes seductively asked, "What's wrong Ranma, cat's got your tongue?"

"C-C-CAT!" Ranma yelled out in terror as he darted to the nearest corner and cowered within it. "No-o, keep away!" he cried, brandishing his arms around his head while his eyes searched the Dojo for the hideous demon.

Damn, why did I have to use _that_ word! Akane silently chastised herself. "Ranma, it's alright. We're all alone" she assured her frightened fiancée.  A few seconds later, she added "It was just an expression," in a near whisper. 

'It's alright?"  Ranma asked as he lowered his arms and he saw Akane nod yes as he slowly stood up, straighten his clothes and puffed out his chest in a vain attempted to regain some of his lost male dignity. Then his fading fear gave way to acute embarrassment tinged with anger, after which his common sense gave way to his big mouth.

"Why'd ya got to say somethin that for, ya uncut-…" Ranma managed to break it off just before he finished saying THAT phrase.  Ranma knew he suffered from acute 'foot-in-mouth' disease; after all he sported numerous lumps on his head from Akane applying her own brand of cure for it.  

"Um… sorry?" he weakly pleaded for mercy.  Ranma realized it probably too late and he shut his eyes, waiting for the 'Mallet Of Doom' to fall.

Anger did flicker in Akane's eyes, but only for a moment. She bit her lip and silently berated herself for almost losing it. She was looking forward to tonight's rendezvous way too much to blow it now.  "Open your eyes Ranma, I'm not going to hit you" she reassured him.

Akane then reached out and took Ranma's right hand in hers and silently led him back to the center of the room, then turned to face him again.

 "Are you sure you want ta do this?" Ranma asked when the silence had gone on for too long.

"Yes, I think we have to. After the wedding, everyone will be expecting it." 

"The wedding..." Ranma replied, thinking of the openly dreaded (and secretly anticipated) event, tentatively scheduled for the end of the current school year.  "Yea, they'll probably all be watchin' too."

"That's why I want to do it now, while no one's around," Akane admitted.  "If we screw it up, I don't want anyone to see it. I'll NEVER live it down!"

"Yer right, Biki would probably film us and sell the copies next day at school."

"Nabiki would NEVER do…" Akane started to defend her sister, but then thought about it. "Your right, she would. Especially if we can't do it right."    

"Violent gorilla girl no know how. Shampoo know, make good good wife!" Ranma teased in a sing-song voice.

"Baka!" Akane laughed. "And I suppose you're an expert at it?"

"Of course!  I'm Saotome Ranma, after all."  Ranma replied with a cocky grin. "It was expected of me."

"YOU DONE THIS BEFORE?" Akane screamed as the green-eyed demon of jealousy arose with in her. "WITH A GIRL?" she added as the 'Mallet of Doom' suddenly made its appearance. 

Oops! "NO! Wait, I'd never really done it with a girl yet!" Ranma cried out as he fled out of the M.O.D.'s range.

"YOU MEAN YOU DONE IT WITH A BOY!" Akane shrieked even louder and raised the M.O.D. high over her head in a two handed death grip.  "PREVERT, RANMA NO HENTAI!" she added as she chased the fleeing martial artist around the Dojo.

"NO NO NO!  I haven't done it with anyone, I've only done it alone!" he yelled during his futile attempt to stay out of range. 

A master of his art, Ranma could dodge a dozen flying fists, block a hundred different blows and no weapon seemed to able to strike him, but take a certain violent tomboy and her favorite weapon…. 

"THUNK!" sounded the meaty impact of mallet-to-flesh as the inevible happen and the M.O.D. once again imbedded itself into the top of Ranma's cranium. 

"Whats ya gotta DO that for?" Ranma demanded while gingerly rubbing the fresh bump to his noggin, "I told ya, I'd only did it by myself!" 

With her rage temporarily sated by the exquisite feel the blow as it radiated down the M.O.D's shaft, Akane finally listened to what Ranma was saying.

 "By yourself?" Akane asked with a puzzled expression on her face. "I mean you CAN do it yourself… I guess" Akane blushed slightly as she remembered some late night solo practices of her own. "But it takes two to…, well, to…,"

Ranma shook his head, "Nah, I just used a practice dummy. A few special modifications and it made a passable stand-in." 

Oh my, he really is a pervert at times… Akane sighed. "But how did you know if you were… uh… doing it right?"

Ranma pulled a well-worn and dog-eared book from a nearby hiding space and handed it to Akane.  "I kind of borrowed this, uh… training manualfrom Daisuke," he explained. "It shows all types of different ways, fully illustrated." 

The tome fascinated Akane, she heard of such books before but had never seen one close up before.  Trust Ranma to find one she thought, flipping though it before coming to an earmarked page. Her eyes opened wide while looking at the illustrations on that page. "Is this the one you want us to try?" Akane asked, holding up the book so Ranma could also see it.   

"Yeah, I'd figured it'll be the best one, our first time." Ranma confirmed, taking the book away from her and setting it down next to the CD player, as he turned the music up slightly.

"How do you think we should start this?" Akane bashfully asked as Ranma moved to embrace her. 

"I'll show you."  Ranma answered, reaching out shyly and took her hand, showing Akane were he wanted it to go and felt her moving closer.  He began to move with her, slowly at first and with plenty of fumbling.

"Is this right?"  Akane asked as she leaned into him, just to see him blush.

"Yes-s-s."  He answered and smiled while moving against her, showing Akane what to do with his eyes, hands, and body.  And she responded.  They moved closer: Akane following Ranma's movements as he whispered encouragements and directions. 

"Yee-Oow-ch…" Suddenly Akane cried out loudly in pain when Ranma seemed to falter slightly as his arm snaked around her backside and pulled her in tightly. 

"Are you ok?" Ranma stopped and asked red-faced as he heard Akane cry out, then started to push apart, "I din't mean to hurt ya"

"Baka…" She mumbled, pulling him back. Akane realized they might have these… difficulties… their first time.  That was one reason why she wanted to do this now, in total privacy. She only hoped it wouldn't cause her to limp too badly tomorrow.  How would I explain that to Nabiki, or worst, the losers? Akane wondered, using her own pet name for Ranma's other fiancées. 

They could hear music and again started to move in rhythm together, building to a crescendo that left them hot and sweaty.  Akane reached up to brush a lock of Ranma's hair away from where it had fallen loose from his pigtail, almost poking him in the eye and they broke free from each other, giggling at their inexperience. 

"Wow," Ranma finally spoke out, "I din't know what I was missin'… all the times I…."

"I suppose that means you enjoyed it" Akane interrupted his musing, somewhat crossly.  I hope that… insensitive jerk …doesn't want to try it with anyone else now! 

"Yeah…" Ranma answered with a tired grin. "I can't believe how good you felt… my love" he quietly added at the end.

  "Baka!" Akane cried out as she playfully punched him in the side. Ranma admitted he loved me! and she felt more than a little guilty now about her last thoughts.

"OUCH, what was that for?" Ranma griped, rubbing his new bruise.

"That was for hurting me, you big oaf" Akane reminded him "I'm going to be sore for a week!"

"I guess that means ya don't wanna do it again right now," Ranma replied wistfully.

"Well… maybe," Akane smirked. "Practice makes perfect, after all. " 

 And when they started up again it was Akane who took charge this time and Ranma who followed her lead.  

And the night wore on and the music played long before they thought to stop.

"I didn't realize it was so late."  Ranma wearily said, one hand scratching the back of his head, the other still resting gently but firmly around Akane's waist.

"We should stop now, before someone comes home."  Akane answered tentatively, conscious of the weight of Ranma's arm around her and not sure if she ever wanted that weight removed as she snuggled against his chest.

"What was that again?" Akane asked as they finally pulled apart, "What we just did?"

"It's called a Waltz." Ranma answered after checking in the dance guidebook. "Next time, let's try the Tango!"

"Only if you promise NOT to stomp on my foot again!" Akane replied fervently. "It's already sore enough!" 

By Nuki Mouse, 8/22/03

Now everyone get his or her mind out of the gutter….

**Please read the authors notes (and Rant) that are located in chapter two!**

**Especially before posting a review of the story    Thanks  Nuki Mouse**

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	2. Notes and Rant

**Author's**** Notes:**

No, this is not a new chapter, just some update info and a request to any future reviewers.

First the update:

1) There are no real changes to the story. Yes, it was re-edited, but only to correct some minor spelling and

grammatical errors, so you can stop looking for what's new in chapter 1

2) No, "Practice Makes Perfect" is not a side story to another existing fanfic. 

Although I have thought about writing a straightforward humorous multi-chapter WAFF 

(Warm And Fuzzy Feeling) about Ranma's and Akane's life with the Curse. 

Possible plot ideas for it include;

Ranma-chan (R-c.) and Akane (A.) being constantly mistaken for lesbians,

R-c. deciding to become a female. (who's cursed to turn into a man with hot water.) 

R-c. & A. ending up in a lesbian dance club without realizing it, 

R-c. being force to enter a beauty contest (and beating A.)

R-c. being stuck female for the wedding and A. must pretend to be the groom. 

[Less "attributes" to hide!] 

Both A. and R-c. somehow ending up pregnant (at the same time!)

The main reason I haven't wrote it yet is that I don't think I could keep up the quality and humor over

that many chapters and different situations without the jokes getting stale or the writing quality slipping. 

**Now For The Request: ( …now for The Rant…)**

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First, I like reviews.

I really–really-really REALLY do like reviews! [ Jees, I sound like Hinako-chan :-) ]

Even the bad ones. 

How else am I suppose to get better if no-one tells me what is wrong?

I am an American, I believe in free speech.

No, that is not oxymoron, like Military Intelligence, Jumbo Shrimp, Apple Tech Support…, 

I normally would never think of removing someone's review (on FFnet) of my stories, good or bad.

But today I was forced to.

"Practice Makes Perfect" is a joke-fic, also known as a spam-fic. (Kami, I _hate that term, it makes the story_

sound…flushable… disposable…) It misdirects you with open-ended suggestive dialogue and red herrings.

The reader falls for it because basically we all have dirty little minds [shame on you! :-) ] that lets you be 

mislead. But not easily. This type of fic (other than a R1/2- DBZ x-over that makes sense) is probable 

the HARDEST type to write. Don't believe me? Try writing one yourself! Then after all that hard work, 

you can see someone ruin it for everyone by GIVING AWAY THE PUNCH LINE IN THEIR REVIEW! 

Yes, you heard (read) my correctly

That's right, someone wrote a review and included a the remark "…I felt like a fool when it turn out they

was dancing instead of fu…" (I don't think I need to show that LAST word) Of course, I removed it. 

I thought most reviewers knew and understood that you do not give away the story's ending, joke, or 

cliff-hanger IN THE REVIEW! But then again, I always thought most Americans (like me!) knew their

own country's basic history but Jay Leno proves that wrong all the time! 

So if you want to write a review…

Please-please PLEASE do so, writer's l-o-v-e reviews, BUT PLEASE DON"T GIVE AWAY THE ENDINGS!

Thank you for your support.

Or as Dennis Miller used to say: "This is just my opinion, I maybe wrong." 

Nuki Mouse

ARGGG! I can't win! Now some numb-nuts posted another review giving away the ending AND I CAN"T REMOVE IT BECAUSE HE SIGNED IT! You can only remove non-sign "anonymous" reviews 

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